I wish it was socially acceptable to just punch people in the face when they said dumb shit. It would make me feel better when I receive certain comments about my sexuality.

I’m bisexual. I’ve identified as such since 7th grade. I started telling my friends around my junior year in high school. I didn’t tell my family until last summer, but they’ve all known for years. They were just waiting for me to say something out loud. My friends and family are very supportive of me. My mom and I went to our first Pride this year too.

I have gone through a lot of ups and downs with my sexuality considering I was being raised in the Lutheran church. There was a lot of judgement and hate towards the LGBT community and I didn’t know what to do. In the end I left the church instead of being “straightened out”.

Over the years I’ve dated both men and women. I tend to date more men than women. Not because I like women any less than men, it’s just my preference. I typically date the same type of guy, but not when it comes to women.

Bisexuality is like a gradient scale. The Bi flag is pink, purple, and blue. Sometimes it’s even shown with the colors fading into each other. That’s how it is. Some individuals are more pink/purple, while others are more purple/blue. There are some that are just purple. It all comes down to the person. We all have our own experiences and that’s perfectly fine!

Yet, we still get dumbass comments from heteros and even from our fellow LGTB-ers. I recently had a conversation with this great woman who I found out is a lesbian. I made a comment and she asked if I was too and when I said I was bi she said the most frequently hated phrase.

“Oh, you just haven’t decided yet.”

I looked that woman in the face and told her, “I hate when people tell me that”. And then I walked away without another word.

No, I haven’t decided what I’m having for dinner.

Yes, I’ve decided what I’ll wear for my date.

YES! We’ve decided to get married!!

Those are choices to be made and some pretty important ones as well.

There is no choice to be made in bisexuality. I enjoy dating both men and women. I enjoy sex with men and women. Just not at the same time. No threesomes here! So what if I don’t date equally?! Again, let me point out, gradient scale…jeez!

I am not “on the fence”.

I am not still “deciding”.

I’m not being selfish.

I’m simply bisexual.

Sexual orientation is not a choice. We were born this way and we will forever be this way. What we can chose is to be open about it, who we open up to, and who we spend our lives with. Man, woman, whatever.

But the true ultimate choice is where the hell to go for dinner when you’re on a date with your best friend. Seriously, why can we never make a decision???


One thought on “you just haven’t decided yet

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